Shame

One of the significant issues with shame is that it can be hard to identify. People often confuse shame with guilt, which is a feeling of remorse for one’s actions. However, shame is different in that it is directed towards oneself rather than towards a specific behavior. Shame is a judgment of the self, whereas guilt is a judgment of actions.

Shame can also manifest in different ways. For example, some people feel physical symptoms, such as blushing, sweating, rapid heartbeat, or butterflies in the stomach. Others may feel a sense of isolation, worthlessness, or that they are fundamentally flawed as a human being. Shame can also trigger depression and anxiety in individuals.

Shame often has a triggering event. For instance, when someone loses a job, they may feel like a failure, and this feeling of shame can lead to an inability to bounce back, which can lead to depression, loss of motivation, and problems with personal relationships. Similarly, a teenager who fails an exam may feel like they are not intelligent enough, which can lead to a lack of self-confidence and further struggles with academic achievement.

Furthermore, one of the primary factors for the increase of shame today is social media. In recent years, people have become obsessed with presenting themselves as ‘perfect’ on social media. However, in reality, life is often not so perfect. Consequently, the pressure to keep up unrealistic standards leads to people feeling inadequate and flawed.

Shame can also be addictive. When an individual experiences shame, it can lead to a sense of numbness that can be addictive. In turn, this can lead to people deliberately making mistakes or engaging in self-destructive behavior, thus creating a vicious cycle of shame and addiction.

One way to alleviate shame is through vulnerability. Professing one’s flaws, insecurities, and weaknesses can be hard, but ultimately, it is freeing. When individuals are vulnerable, they no longer feel like they have to hide behind an illusion of perfection. Everyone has flaws, and by embracing them, people can connect with others who may be struggling with similar issues and move towards healing.

In conclusion, shame is a prevalent issue in modern society, and it can cause a wide range of negative consequences, from depression to addiction. Social media, in particular, has played a significant role in the increase of shame today. Learning to be vulnerable and embracing one’s flaws can be a powerful tool in overcoming shame. By doing so, individuals can move towards achieving emotional wellbeing and a sense of inner peace.