Being is a natural human tendency, especially when someone feels attacked or criticized. It is our instinct to protect ourselves and our beliefs. However, being defensive can also harm our relationships, limit growth and learning, and prevent us from achieving our goals.

If you find yourself becoming defensive frequently, here are some tips on how to fangio” title=”Vic Fangio”>stop being defensive:

1. Be aware of your triggers

The first step in controlling your defensiveness is to become aware of your triggers. Try to identify the situations or topics that tend to make you defensive. Once you are aware of your triggers, you can prepare yourself mentally and emotionally to respond more calmly and constructively.

2. Listen actively

When someone offers criticism or feedback, listen actively without immediately reacting defensively. Try to hear and understand what the other person is saying without getting caught up in your emotional reactions. Take deep breaths, nod your head to signal that you are listening, and ask questions to clarify their perspective.

3. Look for truth in criticism

It is easy to become defensive when we feel attacked, but we should try to look for the truth in criticism. There may be some validity to what the other person is saying, and taking on board constructive feedback can help us grow and improve. Listen with an open mind and try to find areas where you can make changes.

4. Take responsibility

If the criticism is valid, take responsibility for your actions and apologize if necessary. It takes courage to acknowledge our mistakes, but it can also help us learn and grow. Avoid making excuses or blaming others, and instead focus on what you can do to improve.

5. Practice empathy

Try to put yourself in the other person’s shoes and see things from their perspective. Empathy can help us understand where the other person is coming from and find common ground. It is easier to respond constructively when we feel that the other person has our best interests at heart.

6. Choose your words carefully

When we are defensive, we may lash out with hurtful words that we later regret. It is important to choose our words carefully and avoid language that is accusatory or aggressive. Use “I” statements instead of “you” statements when expressing your own feelings.

7. Practice self-awareness

Self-awareness is key to controlling our defensiveness. Try to pay attention to your thoughts and emotions when someone offers feedback or criticism. Reframe negative thoughts into positive ones and work on developing a growth mindset. Recognize that mistakes and failures are part of the learning and an opportunity to improve.

In conclusion, defensiveness can harm our relationships, limit growth and learning, and prevent us from achieving our goals. However, with awareness and practice, we can learn to control our defensiveness and respond constructively to feedback and criticism. Remember to listen actively, look for truth in criticism, take responsibility, practice empathy, choose your words carefully, and practice self-awareness. By doing so, you can build stronger relationships, grow and learn, and achieve your goals.

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