1. Stop Treating Them Like Children
One of the most common mistakes that parents of adult children make is continuing to treat their children like they are still kids. As your child grows up into an adult, they need to be treated with respect and given the space to make their own choices and decisions. Your adult children are no longer minors, so stop treating them as such.
2. Listen to Them
When your adult children come to you to share their opinions or experiences, it is important that you listen to them without judgement or interruption. Active listening shows that you respect and value their thoughts and ideas. You don’t have to agree with everything they say, but you should always give them the space to have their own voice.
3. Respect Their Boundaries
As an adult, your child has the right to set boundaries in their relationship with you. Respect those boundaries, and don’t try to push your way into their life or solve their problems without their permission. You should also avoid prying or asking intrusive questions about their personal life, unless they choose to share with you.
4. Support Their Choices
Your adult child has the right to live their life on their terms, and you need to be supportive of their choices, even if you don’t agree with them. Your role as a parent is to offer guidance and advice when asked, but ultimately, the decision is theirs to make. If you truly can’t support a decision your adult child makes, talk to them about it, and try to understand their reasoning before jumping to conclusions.
5. Respect Their Privacy
Your adult child’s privacy is important, and it is crucial that you respect it. Avoid reading their emails, snooping through their belongings, or otherwise invading their privacy. If your adult child decides to share personal information with you, it should be on their terms, not yours.
6. Treat Them as Equals
Ultimately, the key to earning respect from your adult children is to treat them as equals. Don’t try to control every aspect of their life, allow them to make their own mistakes and choices. Treat them with respect and kindness, just as you would any other adult. Re-establishing boundaries in your relationship is essential, as is learning to treat each other as adults, that means no more “my house, my rules.”
In conclusion, earning respect from your adult children requires a willingness to listen, respect boundaries, support choices, respect privacy, and treat them as equals. Remember that the relationship with your adult children is a two-way street, and it is your responsibility as a parent to show them respect and kindness. By following these guidelines, you can foster a strong and positive relationship with your adult children, while earning their respect.